An Inconsequential Life

About seven years ago, I stood about three feet from a grown man on the verge of tears, as he shared with a group of about seventy-five colleagues in academia. He was a philosophy professor, who had recently returned from Oxford University, where he had spent the summer engaged in post-doctoral studies. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. And, his lips quivered as he spoke forth these words, “my greatest fear is that I will live an inconsequential life.”

A desire to make a difference. Leave a mark on the world. To live and when one’s life is over, for that life to simply have made a difference in the world in which it breathed, moved and walked.

I haven’t thought about that talk, nor the phrase much in the past seven years, though I’ve talked about purpose and destiny on a number of occasions. Yet, recently, this phrase, or rather, the essence that lies at the core of this phrase has been echoing from deep within. Once and a while, it will creep in to my thoughts. Each times it makes entry into my mind in unique ways and within diverse situations.

At the center of my being, I know God has purposed my life to make a difference. I can reflect back through the past sixteen-years, even further and vividly see the hand of God, as the Psalmist said, directing my very footsteps.

God has been so intimate, specific and generous to me. There’s a longing to somehow capture that story so it can be known by more than just me and a small handful. There’s a desire to do something with my life, that when I’m gone, the influence will still continue. It’s less about being “somebody,” and more about simply wanting what God does and speaks into my life to bring life and direction to others. I want to make a difference. I don't want to live an inconsequential life.

Perhaps, this is part of my inner motivation to begin writing more -- to simply capture these elements of the journey. I’ve been pondering this for a while, but as I was reading this evening in the book Organic God, the thought emerged again. Margaret Feinberg, in the book, does a fantastic job of simply telling her story and journey with God. She’s writing about various attributes of God, but it’s more than that, I suppose God is always larger than an attribute of sorts. In the telling though, she authentically weaves her own story into the plot. Part of her writing is so powerful, because as I read her stories, I find myself.

I’ve had those same stories. God’s taught me similar lessons.

Yet, have I deeply reflected, captured and written about them?

Could I?

Should I?

If it did, would this aid in living a life that has consequences beyond myself...?

When Doves Fly :: Becoming Who You Are...

Recently I was reflecting on my "personal paradigm" of spirituality. In other words, what are some of the broad underlying concepts that influence and shape how I see the with-God life lived and expressed. The following image illustrates this developing paradigm. Below the image is my interpretation of what some of the different elements are and what they convey.


Background: The background is a path in the woods with a destination that is unclear and unseen. Each of us is journeying down the path called life. There is much that surrounds it and though we may have some sense of direction where we're headed, generally it is somewhat unclear and unseen. We rest intimately knowing that God is on this pilgrimage with us. As Solomon said, “in all your ways acknowledge Him.” The beautiful thing about this passage is the Hebrew phrasing literally means, “in all of your journeys, no matter life leads you, intimately and experientially know God as a wife knows her husband.” This is a promise of an actual reality. The background is amply captured in one of my favorite quotes,

“The Journey is the Destination.”

The Hands: God is journeying with us. He is firm and sovereign, yet gentle and guiding. The left hand has a firm grip on the frame. He is committed to keeping us from falling. At the same time, His right hand, the hand that guides us is gentle and un-forced.

“The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.”
(Psalm 37:23-24)

The Frame: has at least two opposite meanings. On the one hand, life is often reduced to a stagnant and flat one-dimensional existence. This isn’t what life was intended to be. Unfortunately, for many, this is the only reality they’ve ever know. It may very well seem “normal,” but in essence the hands of life have been tied and our true self has been left hanging in the closet.

On the other hand, the frame represents our God initiated efforts. Patterns and practices that when intentionally engaged become the framework for the Spirit of God to move and transform us and release us into a vibrant three-dimensional reality.

The Dove: Represents a person fully alive. A person who is aware of God's present activity, as well as the sacredness of the present moment. It is a reality of being sensitive to the promptings and influence of the Holy Spirit within the everyday moments of life. Such a life is characterized by a sense of freedom, joy, wonder, mystery and adventure. This is a life lived in-the-Spirit, the with-God life.

What image would you use to communicate your personal paradigm?

Absent from our Own Existence.

Some people simply miss life in the present due to spending too much time on the past or the future. While this is true, I think many more in our current age, miss much of life in the busyness of the present. This has often been the case for me. I very rarely, if ever grovel in the past or fret over the future. Rather, I find myself so busy in the present, that I can be prone to not be present there. In the midst of moving briskly from one thing to another I can bypass the deep currents of my heart, the sacredness of a moment and the whisper of God’s voice. Such busyness causes our hearts to become calloused. We become absent from our own existence.

This is a reality that I’ve wrestled with for the past several years. I've written several posts dealing with our enchantment and addiction to speed, how we need to Learn to Pause and learn to live in Slow-Motion. I know God is present and actively involved in my day and I long to grow more and more in my attentiveness, awareness and response to it. Over the past four or five years, I’ve been learning to halt and take notice in times of busyness, especially times where I find the very word “busy” being my patent answer to those who inquire, “How’s it going?”. Wayne Muller in his book “Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal and Delight in our Busy Lives,” reminds us how the ancient Chinese saw the poisonous effects of busyness. The Ancient Chinese have long had insight into this that the West has yet to discover. The ancient Chinese pictograph for the word busy is made up of the symbols/pictures heart and killing.

This image has been a reoccurring visual for me in these seasons. It's a powerful image, a reminder of what’s happening deep inside when I simply don’t live in “slow motion” with space to capture God’s movements and the essence of the one before me.

In these moments, more and more, I’ve learned when I engage, I truly become more attentive and aware. Though I can still be prone to move at the speed of life, I’ve become significantly more discerning of when I’m doing so, enabling me to slow-down and actually experience life itself.

My Sacred Rhythm of Engaging Scripture

One of the rhythms that is imperative to my ongoing walk with-God is that of simply reflecting on Scripture. Many people each January aspire to trek through-the-Bible with some daily reading plan. There is great value in seeing the Story of Scripture in a grand fly-over sweep. I've tried these plans several times over the years. However, I must confess, I make it about three verses and something begins to emerge from deep within - "Hmm..." or "Huh...?" or "What'the'Heck!?"

I find myself wanting to hoover over a passage, a phrase or even one single word. At that point I have a choice. Ignore the Spirit's prompting within or plow on through the assigned text of the day. I become frustrated and it's at that point that I typically jump ship.

I've concluded that God isn't as concerned with me getting through-the-Bible as He is with the Bible getting-through-me. I'm looking for an in-formation, not merely more information. I love the Story of Scripture and the way the Spirit brings it to life with transforming relevance. These times in Scripture churn up something deep within me. And, during those times (and they have come) when I'm not engaging Scripture in such a manner, I can sense the interplay of that affecting my with-God life.

One of the things that I've found extremely helpful is not merely opening up Scripture on any given day with the question, "where should I read today?". This lacks intentionality, context and many who utilize this approach find themselves not engaging Scripture with any true sense of rhythm.

When prayerfully reflecting on the patterns and practices that I need to engage in a given season, I spend some time asking God to show me a particular book of Scripture that I should live-in, work-through and marinate in. By focusing in one (or in my case - two books), there emerges a contextual understanding of the book, the time and culture it was written and the subtle nuances embedded by the author that are often missed in the quick read-through. There is a process I go through that I'll talk more about at another time, but for now, during such engagement these portions of Scripture become as an unfolding mystery of delicate and faint clues woven through it.

Back in December, as I was reflecting on my rhythms for 2009, I sensed God directing to the New Testament Epistle of Colossians. Already there are passages that have begun to consume my idle attention throughout the day. Prayers that Paul prayers, declarations made about those who follow Christ and the work of the Spirit within. These passages, almost mystically, follow me
throughout my day working their way into my outward conversations as well as my internal rumblings. Did I mention I love Scripture...? And, the Spirit that brings it to life...

Exploring Personal Rhythms

In a world enchanted by facile slogans and fast food appetites, we are in need of something sacred .

In a time of exponential hurriedness, we are in need of a new sense of rhythm .

In our journey to explore human transformation and spiritual practices that will help us to engage God, expand our everyday lives and master the art of living in slow motion, we will need to be intentional about our life rhythms.

As mentioned in the previous post, several times a year I get away by myself. One of things I do during this time is look at what my life rhythms have looked like over the past several months. The things I've been learning. The places I've been exerting effort, energy and creativity. I reflect on what my thoughts and emotions and perspective on life, family, ministry, etc have been.

I look back in my journal to the things I captured during my last time away. I look back at the things I felt at that time God was directing me into or saying to me regarding the upcoming season. I then reflect how those 'things' played out. How have I engaged the things I sensed Him directing me in? What have my personal practices, disciplines and rhythms looked like?

Additionally, the majority of this time is spent listening, waiting, sensing and capturing what God is saying to me in retrospect of the past, the present and the emerging future.

I jot down the things I sense He's leading me into, bringing before me, desiring to teach and form within me. I also begin to sketch out what patterns and practices will be vital to my personal rhythm of life. These times are insightful, informative, directive and strengthening...

Exploring Personal Rhythms is a tool that can be used as a means of reflection and awareness into our current patterns and practices. This can be pretty beneficial in beginning to reflect and converse with God regarding the season in your journey.

Reflection Precedes Resolutions...

Why do people make New Year's Resolutions? What fuels such "solutions" that are often seeming infused with very little resolve. In fact, according to most studies and surveys, only about 8 percent of Americans successfully achieve and follow-through on their New Year's resolutions. An overwhelming (or rather 'underwhelming') 45 percent fail by the end of January!

Regardless of all the sub lining reasons to this, I think part of the dilemma is that we start looking at the new year from the wrong vantage point. Often the best way to move forward is to look backwards. As the saying goes, Life is best understood backwards, but it can only be lived forward. In other words, reflection should precede resolutions...

Of all the things Americans make time for, reflection is very rarely one of them. The reasons for this and the consequences thereof could be the subject of numerous posts. In short, the word reflect comes from two Latin words: re, meaning "back," and flectere, meaning "to bend."

"To reflect, then, is to bend back something, like the way a mirror bends back an image, providing an opportunity for a closer look." (Ken Gire in The Reflective Life).
Personally, I have found the practice of reflection to be significant in my life with-God. Reflection(s) captured can serve as points of orientation and direction for the future. Several times a year I get away for a day or two on a personal retreat. One of the things that is always integrated into these times is extended periods of prayerful-listening-reflection.

One of the questions I reflect on is:

• God, what are the main things You’ve been trying to teach and form within me lately…?

As simple and potentially insightful as this is, I've found that very few people ever take a few moments to ask God this question.

Before I/we can make any grand resolution of what we will do in the future, it is imperative that we gain an understanding of what God has been endeavoring to produce within us in the recent-present.

Back to the Story for the First Time...

This time of year, many of us are prone to turn back to the beginning of the Gospels and read the Nativity narratives. Sunday messages are typically centered around this timeless story. This is true for me, as well as what we've been doing at SouthGate. Yet, I'm always leery of these seasons. I fear that we, especially in the West, often become immune to the power of these stories, especially after hearing them so many times. We read them, we hear them, but sometimes we can do so without listening to them. Really listening, as if it were the first time.

"I read a fascinating study a few years ago," writes Mark Batterson in Wild Goose Chase, "that suggested people stop thinking about the lyrics of a song after singing it thirty times. I"m sure the numbers vary from person to person but the tendency is universal. And it has profound implications when it comes to worship."

I think a similar case could be for the well-worn passages of Scripture.

Several weeks ago, I began re-reading through the Nativity narratives, perusing, thinking, reflecting, meditating and waiting. As I've done so, there's been a prayer that I pray often: "God, don't let me grow numb to this story... Keep me from assuming I know the story... Help me to see something new... Help me to read it again for the first time..."

God loves to answer this prayer!

God loves to open up new angles to His Word!

Several things have struck me in new ways this season.

Last week, as I was reading through the narrative something caught my attention. Particular words to be exact. Words that described how people were feeling, responding and resonating to the events at hand. Words like: "amazed, amazement, astonished, marvel, marveled, surprised, wonder, wondered" At every turn of the story, it is as if Luke, the narrator, pushes the pause button, freezes the act and steps out from backstage and inserts these emphatic snapshot-addendums to what was going on within the characters on stage.

These words caught my attention and a question curiosity began emerge within. I wonder if these words are all the same Greek word? What if Luke is echoing this same word again and again throughout this narrative. I began to explore the Greek texts of this passage and discovered that every time Luke uses the same Greek word - thaumazo. (Luke uses this word thirteen times throughout his Gospel. Four of these times he uses this word in the first two chapters of the nativity narrative.)

This struck me as significant, especially in the context my prayer this season. It's as if Luke is inserting these narrative jolts into the storyline. He wants to get our attention! He wants us to slow down and enter into the wonderment again. He wants us to read this story, feel the awe and never become numb...

May we experience thaumazo for ourselves - again - for the firs time.

I Need to be Reminded...

About two weeks ago, as I was walking to my desk in my office, I paused in front of a bookshelf and began perusing across a shelf. My eyes stopped on a particular book (The Reflective Life: Becoming More Spiritually Sensitive to the Everyday Moments of Life by Ken Gire). I picked up. It’s a book I read about seven years ago, yet I immediately felt compelled to read it again.

It’s always interesting to read something again with a gap of several years in between. To notice the comments you made in the margin, to slowly read the underlined parts and then reflect on where you were at during that season of your life. On a number of occasion while doing this I’ve had the thought, “Man… I was so clueless back then…” Often, after these little epiphanies I wonder, “In a few years from now, what will be the things I’ll look back on this very season I’m in right now and say the same thing?” Humbling thought.

C.S. Lewis once said, "We need to be reminded more than instructed." For me, the essence of this book is one of those core components of living that God is always trying to remind me of.

I am a creative dreamer. I feel the rush of adrenaline as I’m a part of doing something bigger than myself – something that requires God to come and save the day, as it were. I’ve realized that in the midst of the rush of pursuing God given dreams, I can become unaware of God’s presence in the bringing of the dreams to actualization. This has been very convicting to me. As such, one of my life ambitions is to be more fully present. To live a life that has space for reflection and awareness of God’s present activity in it.

It seems that one of my life messages and a personal longing is for a life that is growing in such sensitivity and awareness. I am learning that one of the greatest moments I can give to God and another is my present attention and growing awareness. I am yearning to live this fast paced life interrupted frequently by sacred moments of slow-motion.

“Over the margins of life comes a whisper, a faint call,
a premonition of richer living which we know we are passing by.
Strained by the very mad pace of our daily outer burdens, we are further strained by an inward uneasiness, because we have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence,
a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power.”
(Thomas Kelly in A Testament of Devotion)

Crossing the Threshold - Great Floridian Half-Ironman Triathlon

It was about a year-and-a-half ago that I sat in my basement with my dad watching the Ironman Triathlon World Championship in Hawaii. At the time I was in peak training for a marathon, spent quite a bit of my time thinking about training and endurance. The Ironman is the ultimate endurance sport. You begin by plunging into the water for a 2.4 mile swim. After emerging from the depths, you immediately make your way to the transition area where get you bike and gear, jump on the saddle and head out for a 112 mile spin, only to return to the transition area, put on the running shoes and jolt out for the last leg – a 26.2 mile run. Throughout high school and even college as I competed in cross country, I stood intrigued, curious and in admiration of someone engaging such a grueling day of physical exertion and mental challenge.

As I sat on the floor, that particular Sunday afternoon, I once again had the thought that I had had years earlier – “I would love to do something like that.” This thought was quickly followed by something to the effect, “I’m training for a marathon/26.2 run, but could I do that after all the swimming and cycling…? Further, could I even do the swimming and cycling part to even get to the part I can do, i.e. the running?” The mental conversation soon ended as I probably unconsciously concluded I could never do such a epic exploit.

This spring, once the snow, ice and signs that we were soon coming to the end of another artic Northern Indiana winter, I laced up the shoes and began training for a season of road (running) races that would conclude with a marathon in October. It wasn’t long before my intentions shifted, significantly. A conversation with a friend, some unearthing of old desires, and an emergence of new impetus to push myself beyond the threshold of what I’ve ever physically attempted. Something that would require perhaps a greater amount of intentionality, planning, training and effort than had previously been exerted.

Last Thursday served to finish up 7 months – 30 weeks – three-hundred-and-fifty some hours of training, as my dad and I loaded up and drove from North Carolina to Florida for the Great Floridian Challenge – Half Ironman Triathlon.

The Great Florida Challenge is a1.2 mile swim, followed by a 58 mile bike ride through Sugar Loaf Mountain, followed by a 13.1 mile run. The trek took me 5:28:43.

Something significantly happens when we push ourselves beyond the thresholds of where we’ve been before. This is true whether it’s physically, mentally, relationally or spiritually. What’s more amazing is how each of these areas of our life influence and interact with other areas of our lives – we are one.

I’ve found that something happens to my mental and spiritual outlook during these seasons of intense and intentional physical training. Yet, isn’t it astounding how often we can so easily settle in to the status quo of life with the numbing effects of a mediocre existence?

Training Partner Tragically Drowned

This past Saturday, my trusted training partner unexpectedly and tragically drowned in Barron Lake in Niles, Michigan. Over the course of the past year, this partner has ran over 1,500 miles by my side, raced with me in 5k's, 10k's, 15k's, even the Indianapolis Marathon. This partner has biked at least 1,000 miles with me this summer. This partner has sat pool side, tracking me swim lap after lap after lap.



This past Saturday, however, was my partner's last open water swim with me. It was the first leg of the Niles Olympic Triathlon. The accident happened only four swimming strokes into the race. He was clinched tightly to my wrist as the race began. I plunged into the water and began to swim. Then I felt the dreaded feeling. A feeling I imagined would never hapen, yet a feeling as real today as it was Saturday. The feeling of my trusted partner loosing grip and letting go of my wrist.

Immediately, I dove down into the water, looking for signs of life, but found none. The water was not clear enough and there were too many other swimmers behind me. I emerged back to the surface and in sadness continued the long journey that was before me - only this time, alone.


May this faithful training companion Rest in Peace. My consistent and timely Ironman Distance and Speed GPS Watch. Isn't it ironic that one would lose a watch with GPS? I will miss the navigation, pace and distance readings, along with beeps at the end of every mile completed during a training run.

...This, along with my left shoe that was lost last week in a mud-swamp in Buchanan, Michigan during the Redbud Extreme 5k - not making for a good trend these days...

During last weeks race, my shoe got sucked down into the mud about a foot deep. I was a mile-and-half into the race, with a little over a mile-and-half to go.

Considering that, even if I stopped and able to dig out my shoe, I wouldn't be able to put it back on for all the mud. Further, if I stopped, the chance of getting trampled were significantly high, beings there were quite a few people soon approaching the swamp. The best pensive decision at the time (and to this day), was to not look back, not even a glance. Instead, to look intently on the trail before me, take every step with the left foot cautiously, once out of the trails and back on the road, look for green grass and step on it with the left foot at every chance, not to mention, get as far ahead of the rest of the pack during the next mile-and-half, so as to not have to sprint to the finish for preferred placing.

Fortunately, I managed to dodge, rocks, stumps, trees, pebble, find lots of grass along the road, pull ahead enough to establish a lengthly lead, remain blister free and win the race...

I'm sure it will make for a good story someday for the grandkids.... but today, I could careless about my shoe -- I stinking miss my Timex GPS watch...

R.I.P

A Breathtaking Run

Recently, while on the reservation in South Dakota, I would get up early in the morning and go out for a run. Each of these run proved to be not only a good work out, but a memorable experience with an absolute breathtaking view. As far as the eye can see there's nothing but rolling hills and prairies, free from any signs of civilization or the typical scaring thereof.

The particular run (pictured at top), started off with being barked at by the watchmen of a prairie dog colony. This was shortly followed by two huge white-tailed doe leaping across the path right in front of me then slowly, yet majestically dancing down into a ravine and emerging back on the other side of a butte (an isolated hill with steep sides and flat top).
As my eyes followed the white-tail, still hearing the sophisticated underground communications of the praire dogs and taking in the panorama view, I literally found myself running down the path with my arm spread out into the air thinking, "What the heck... I can't believe I just saw all this..." (And that's without mentioning the eagle flying over head of me while I'm running - see picture - middle-top-left.)

Several minutes and a mile later as I circled around where the two doe disappeared, at the top of the butte, I saw another figure standing still on the top, staring right at me. It was a pronghorn buck antelope. I immediately stopped running as I thought to myself, "Do they charge?" Which I figured was a good question to ask beings my early morning traveling companions were all sitting on a hill over a mile away - out of sight and out of hearing. And, in the event this was some protective, aggressive and charging beast, it would be QUITE some time before they would miss me or even longer to find me. Did I mention I was wearing a bright orange shirt? I'm not sure if that's relevant, but I kind like a dancing el Traje de Luces (the elaborate eye catching costume of a matador before the enraged bull.

The pronghorn began to prance and run down the butte. I figured it was an opportune moment for a little impromptu speed work out, so I began sprinting back up the path from which came. After about 50-yards I stopped and looked back to see my friend leaping across the hill-side. I figured he either knew something I didn't, was secretly pinning me in somehow or was simply going on his way. Either way, I decided I wanted to see things from the view from where he had been standing. So I turned around and headed back up the path. A mile later I was there, climbed the butte and what I saw was once again, simply breathtaking... (Below is the view from on top of this view, also known as Pawnee Lookout).

(The view from Pawnee Lookout - Where Mr. Pronghorn was poised.)

(The Watchman)

(These were spotted on the drive back to camp from the run.)

Just Like Papa...

The biggest, most shaping and long lasting influences on our lives and the things we learn along the way more often than not are the result of something we see, observe, reflect on, experience and engage.

We learn by watching, trying, mimicking... doing. It is in this doing, often merely experimental, that we experience the process of transformation and becoming...


This week our family has been on vacation in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. My father drove in from North Carolina and joined us for the last couple of days. Micah, my five-year-old son has been eagerly anticipating his arrival ever since he learned of the news of "Papa Jobe" meeting us in the mountains. It's amazing to see how little boys attach themselves to fathers and grandfathers, even those they only see once or twice a year... He simply loves his Papa's...

Papa arrived yesterday afternoon. Hours earlier Micah had grabbed his ball cap and put it on. Interestingly, he hasn't worn the hat once in the six days we've been here, but he knows Papa always has a hat on, and it seems in preparation for seeing Papa, he puts his hat on as well.

Shortly after his arrival we all loaded up and were in route to find somewhere to eat. No sooner than out the door and towards the van and Micah had rubbed up against Papa and grabbed his hand with a proud smile ringing from one ear to the other.

We arrived at the Old Mill restaurant, Micah, right next to Papa - hand in hand... and for the rest of the night never left his side. I sat across from the huge round table fixated just across from the open windows overlooking the river. Several times I smiled, as I glanced across the table only to observe Micah looking at Papa out of the corner of his eye, intently watching, observing and even mimicking Papa's every move. He re-positioned his had just to be exactly like his Papa's... Re-maneuvered and postured himself just to sit like Papa... Each time with that same proud little subtle-silent-loving smile on his face.

He's learning... He's growing... He's watching... He's becoming...

And, so we all are...

The question is, I suppose, what/who is it that we're spending most of our time looking at...?

For knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, we are well on our way to becoming the very essence of what our eyes, minds and hearts have become fixated upon...

Surrounded...

Something amazing happens when we allow ourselves to be surround by others...

...there's an added dimension.
...there's an increase of strength.
...an expansion of vision.
...an emergence of momentum.
...and the presence of a whole lot more fun.

As we've launched The Loft and began to see the response of kids and how their engaging God and one another its been pretty riveting.

But, perhaps the most significant thing that has happened to me, is the reality of a band of co-visionaries who are investing themselves whole-heartedly into the development of a force that will shape a generation of young people.

These friends have added strength, vision and momentum. They have been initiators with grand follow-through, demonstrating the power of encouragement, faith, belief and risk. They are my heroes and my friends.

So, as in those times with I simply sit back and reflect on what is transpiring among us, I see the truth that when each person contributes what only she or he can, the image before us begins to take on a shape and function greater than we could have ever imagined by ourselves - each life, heart and hand come together with the presence of God to bring something awesome into being.

Today... I am simply grateful for the people God has surrounded me with...

The Spiral of Questions: Exit Ramps to Discovery & Learning...

I have 3 children. The oldest is five and he typically hits his quota of 300+ questions a day, most of which are very similar to the “school” question. Almost daily, I find myself struggling to find an adequate answer to his questions… The “patent” answers seem so empty as the words are formed and ready to come out of my mouth…

…and yet, the more he asks (the more the patience wanes), and everything within me wants to give the ‘patent - dead-end’ answer that will give me some reprieve…. (horrible I know!)

The operative word there was “wants”…. There are those moments where I restrain that urge and dive into the spiral of questions with him, trying to discover something new…. Trying to inspire hunger for learning…. and the awe of discovery…. and the open-endedness of life - so that “we” keep searching together….

The last thing I want is to cripple any of these things with my selfish-had-enough-of-the-questions-here’s-my- lousy-dead-end-answer!

As Picasso said,

“Every child is an artist.
The problem is how to remain an artist
once he grows up.”

Hopefully as those who instruct, model and parent we will be given enough grace to cultivate the “artist” within our children, and rediscover it ourselves.

Celtic Worship

It's amazing to see how different cultures, races and peoples throughout history have expressed their love and worship for God. It's fascinating indeed.

This week I'm in Sierre Madre, California at a Passionist Retreat Center and Monastery. I am joined by approximately 70 other like-minded friends who are dedicated to learning, growing and experiencing personal transformation into the image of Christ. We are all a part of a Masters Program at Spring Arbor University in Spiritual Formation and Leadership.

The make up of cohorts is an amazing diversity of age, experiences and church backgrounds, all with a phenomenal perspective that we all have much to learn from our various backgrounds and experiences.

Our primary lecture is well-known author and philosophy professor at Univ. Southern California Dallas Willard.

Our worship for the retreat/class week will be varied as well, but the main stream of genre for the week is Celtic. It's been interesting to note the themes that are prevalent in many of these Celtic hymns, songs and prayers. I'm looking forward to how this will broaden my understanding of Christian Spirituality.

Learning to Love Life

I love being with my family...

...Though being intentional and fully-present is always an ongoing discipline to be practiced.

...Yet, more and more I simply enjoy being with my family... at home... doing nothing... but playing and exploring life...

Here are a few things...

...I'm Loving this Holiday Season:

• Wrestling with Micah
• Dancing with Naylah
• Making Pancakes on Saturday Mornings with the Kids
• Creating Oatmeal and Coffee Every Morning with Naylah
• Watching Life & Journeyman with Charissa
• Seeing Avi Smile and Giggle
  
• Gett'n Down With the Whole Family to Jam'n Music in the Basement
• Observing my Children Discover Life
• Laughing with Charissa at our kids, each other & the silly'ness of Life
  
• Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash with the Whole Family
• Simply Being Together - Having Nothing to Do...

Here is a little video featuring some of our seasonal celebrations...

Menorah Hora - A Jewish Celebration

Now for the Snowball Fight...

Family Snowball Fight

10-21-07 Mosaic Formation: Training to Win

There's a difference in aspiring to finish a particular race and training to win it. The Apostle Paul encouraged those in Corinth to "train in such a way to win the race." This message looks at the parallels between intentionally training for a marathon and following Christ.

You never know...

It was late this past Saturday night when the phone rang. All the kids had long been “tucked-in” for the night. I made my way toward the phone and was surprised by the voice on the other end. The person on the other end, wasn’t any where near “could it be” orbit. It was a friend of my who is a professor at a college in the region. After offering a few apologies for calling so late, he began to share the reason for calling.


“I have a young lady at my house from Jamaica. At one point in our conversation, she began to talk about a guy named Jerrell.” How many Jerrell’s does any one person know of? They indicated to her that they knew me and that I actually lived near by. “She went on and on about you,” they continued. “She says, that it is because of you and your influence that she is a Christian, given her life to God and now a student at Taylor University studying Psychology and Biblical Counseling.”

They went on to explain that they were going to be a the Deaf Church in South Bend Sunday morning and what it would mean for her to see me in person. They really didn’t have to say any more, I was there.

So, I worked out Sunday morning that I could slip into the service at the Deaf Church before I had to be at Calvary to take care of my responsibilities. There, sitting on one of the seats was Tashi Bent, junior at Taylor University, native to Jamaica. The first thing she told me after giving me a big hug was,

“I just wanted to tell you thank you. Back at camp in 1997, you came to Jamaica. It was during that week in one of the services that you were preaching that I made a decision to give my life to God and follow Jesus…Thank you for coming. Thank you for what you said…”

How cool is that!

We never know…

For Beginners Only...

"But let us be convinced of the fact that

we will never be anything else but beginners,

all our life (1)."

-Thomas Merton-

At times, I feel like such a beginner. Lately, I’ve found this “feeling” becoming more and more frequent. As the old adage goes, “the more I know, the more I realize I don’t know.” Or, the older I get, the younger I feel. At times this is humbling, especially in regard to the areas where maturity of being is the call of the day. Yet, in other areas, it is quite liberating, exciting and organic. To learn the same lesson over, yet from a slightly different perspective. With each experience of re-learning the “truth” therein seems to penetrate a little deeper within the core of my being, influencing the person I am becoming.

I can see these cycles in my life. There are rhythms of internal construction, then deconstruction, followed by greater deconstruction, then at last there begins a reconstruction, then greater reconstruction. It is these God initiated cycles that remind me that God is “at work within in me” creating a desire to “both will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose (2).” It is these interactions that break into my seasons of subtle neglect, apathy and disillusion. These cycles and interactions cause me to see my life more closely from God’s perspective.

“Christianity without the living Christ is inevitably Christianity without discipleship,” writes Dietrick Bonhoeffer. He continues, “Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ (3).” It is the presence of “the living Christ” that provokes transformation from within. And the most significant and lasting transformation, as Foster contends, is always “an inside job (4).” Thus, Christian spirituality cannot be experienced without living intentionality. Unfortunately, for many, life just seems to happen to them. Pastor Dieter Zander in an interview with Dallas Willard, conducted by Christianity Today laments, “A lot of people live unintentionally. They get pushed around by circumstances and culture (5).” Some would even say Christians can become more “surprised by change,” than the lack thereof (6). In order to live a life “worth living there needs to be moments where one’s life can be as Socrates admonished, “examined (7).” For me, journaling, one-day spiritual retreats and exercises like the “spiritual growth planner” help facilitate this type of examination.

Again, as Thomas Merton said, “We do not want to be beginners. But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all our life.” Times of honesty, relational engagement and “spiritual growth planners” have a way of highlighting the “beginner” in us all. And, when seen from God’s perspective and grace, these awakenings can become entry paths to greater personal transformation. During the process of allowing ourselves to be “open to God,” as Calhoun describes it, we see not only the areas we want to grow in, but the areas that we need to grow in. We frequently see the areas we want to grow in, for these areas often correspond with our personalities and spiritual pathways or “sacred pathways(8).” However, the arenas that we need to grow in most are generally somewhere out of direct sight, somewhere in the shadows of our blind-spot(s).

Adele Calhoun in her book Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, identifies seven major arenas of spiritual disciplines and practices of the Christian faith. She uses the acronym W.O.R.S.H.I.P. Included in this book is a Spiritual Growth Planner, essentially a detailed personal-spiritual assessment of where you're and the disciplines-practices that are strong or not-so-strong in one's life. I was personally challenged in each of the seven areas, however there were two that I sensed a need to intentionally engage in first. At face value these two seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum, yet in reality, they interplay and work in tandem with each other. They are “worship of the Trinity” and “pray my life.”

I have a strong sense of God’s providential love, protection and guidance in my life. This strength can become a weakness. I know God is working around me and actively involved in the various parts of my life. However, “knowing” this and authentically “acknowledging” this are two different things. This is where the “pray my life” component comes into play. If I am not consistently engaged in practices of “pray my life,” I am apt to be less sensitive and discerning to God’s activity in my daily life. Thus, I’m less aware of the actuality of His presence, and the lack of acknowledgment, thanks and worship are the symptoms of this dis-ease. To state it another way, when I am engaged in ongoing “pray my life” type interactions, I am more sensitive, discerning and aware of God’s presence in my situations and circumstances. The result is a natural outflow of acknowledgment and worship.

This fall has been a busy season for me. I’m already finding my mind drift forward into December of 2008. There are mini brainstorming meetings going on all over my head, and there’s still much to be created and done to finish out 2007. What I need isn’t so much a one-day spiritual retreat, I’ve taken two of those already this fall. Rather, I need some small pockets of time throughout the day that interrupt the enchanting busyness of my day with a deep-breath and re-centering of my awareness of God, His presence and His desire to participate with me in the tasks He has entrusted me to do. One of the byproducts that I am certain will be an increased atunement between me and God, as well as an organic outflow of authentic worship. I’m looking forward to increasing my practice in these disciplines and experiencing the “grace” that can be “received” through them(9).

This is only the beginning, I am a beginner.


Notes:
(1) Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, pg. 2.
(2) Philippians 2:13, TNIV.
(3) Dietrick Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship.
(4) Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, pg. 6
(5) “The Apprentices,” Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal, Summer 2005, Vol. XXVI, No. 3, Pg. 20.
(6) John Ortberg, The Life You’ve Always Wanted.
(7) In Plato’s Dialogues, Socrates remarks that, “an unexamined life is not worth living.” Apology, section 38.
(8) Gary Thomas, in his book Sacred Pathways identifies nine different “pathways.” These pathways, kind of like a spiritual-personality, are the way that God has designed us to relate to Him most naturally.
(9) Foster says that, “God has given us the Disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving his grace.” Dallas Willard says that the Disciplines are “receptacles for God’s Grace.”

Man on Baley

This past weekend...














...about 12 of us went...


















...indoor rock climbing - as we...


















...kicked off our weekend together...
...as part of a 10-week conversation that we've been a part of.

We had a blast...
...climbing...
...connecting...with God and one another
...conversing...about life, our families & the men
we are becoming...

..."Man on Baley..."
..."Baley on..."
..."Climbing..."
..."Climb on..."