“Who Am I…?”
This is the age-old question. Throughout the
ages, philosophers, theologians, poets, psychologists, even historians have all
made attempts to answer this question. Interestingly, of all the creatures of
creation, humans are the only one’s who say, “Who Am I…?” The very one’s who were created with the greatest
significance in the image of God seem to somewhere along the way have forgotten who they are. Henri Nouwen, in
the book Spiritual Direction, points
out that many of us are now prone to answer this question and define ourselves
in one or more of the following ways.
I am what I do...
“I am what I do.” When I do good things and
have a little success in life, I feel good about myself. But when I fail, I
start getting depressed. To define yourself based on what you do is to live on
an emotional and spiritual roller coaster. Isn’t this largely what one is doing
when they experience what is commonly called a midlife crisis? They reach an
age or season in life and they look around while asking themselves, “what have
I done with my life…?” Then, based on what we’ve perceive we’ve done, we calculate how we’re doing. Our
evaluations are often nothing more than the byproduct of how we faired when we
compared what we’ve “done” to our peers and those around us.
As we get older and our body begins to
deteriorate, rendering us unable to physically do much, all we’ll be able to
say is, “Look at what I did in my life… look, look, look, look, I did something
good…” Our value, worth, significance and identity will be nothing more than a
distant memory and perhaps a faded plaque on the wall.
I am what other people say
about me...
Another way we are prone to define ourselves is,
“I am what other people say about me.” This is tricky and often subconscious.
But, we have to admit, we often expend a tremendous about of head-space
worrying (or at least thinking and imagining) what other people are saying
about us (or at least what they think
about us). Further, they don’t even have to say it or actually think it,
but if we think they think it – it
can control us just the same. Often, it’s
not so much what other people think about you that is the problem; it’s what YOU
THINK – THEY THINK.
Don’t be mistaken; what people say about you
has great power. When people speak well of you, you can walk around quite
freely. But when somebody starts saying negative things about you, you might
start feeling sad. When someone talks against you, it can cut deep into your heart.
I am what I have...
Or, we might say, “I am what I have.” There’s a
human tendency to let our things and our stuff determine our identity. The
square footage of our homes, to the model of our cars, to the little designs on
our hip pockets can all subconsciously serve as the building blocks of how we
define ourselves in the eyes of others.
How much
energy goes into defining yourself by deciding “I am what I do,” “I am what others say about me,” or “I am what I
have”?
You are not, fundamentally, what you do, what
other people say about you, or what you have. You are loved by God.
In the book, A
Traveler Toward the Dawn, John
Eagan describes an encounter he has with his spiritual director on the
sixth day on his annual, silent eight-day retreat, “John, the heart of it is this:
to make the Lord and his immense love for you constitutive of your
personal worth. Define yourself
radically as one beloved by God.
God’s love for you and his choice of you constitutive your worth. Accept that, and let it become the most
important thing in your life.”
“Who am I?”
“I am one loved by Christ.”
-Thomas Merton
Consider the
first human, Adam. God created Adam for the very purpose of finding pleasure in
his union with the Creator of the universe. Before Adam was given any assignment, role or
responsibility, he was put in a place conducive for intimacy with the
Almighty. Scripture says,
“The LORD God took Adam
and placed him in the garden of
Eden.”
-Genesis 2:15
The Lord God
took Adam and put him in the garden of Eden. The word “garden” used here means,
“a place of enclosure.” The word “Eden” means, “delight or pleasure.” In other
words, Adam was enclosed in the place of God’s pleasure and delight. God always
surrounds those in whom He takes pleasure and finds delight. This is how the
first human defined himself. His identity was not based on what he did, what
other humans thought, or what he had. It was based solely on what God said.
And, God said, “You are loved.” If we were to rewrite Genesis 2:15 with this
expanded understanding, perhaps it would look like this:
Now the LORD took the
human that He had intimately formed and put him in a place surrounded and
enclosed with the reality of God's pleasure and delight. –Genesis 2:15 rewrite
This original
common-union is one of the most vivid pictures of love. Love, was to be the
primary expression of Adam’s existence. Out of this love, Adam would “work
and take care of” the garden. Adam was not defined by his work, responsibility,
status or position in creation; rather he was defined by the reality of God’s
love. He didn’t work to earn God’s approval. He didn’t strive to acquire God’s
love. He was loved. All of his life and relationships were to flow out of this
central truth. And, so it is for us. “You are God’s beloved child, in whom He
is well pleased.”
I AM THE BELOVED...
