Developing a Rule for Life

We all have rules like "Do your best." "Never give up." "Never say never." "Just do it." These mottos tether us to certain behaviors and attitudes so we can, in the words of another rule, "be all we can be." They help us live toward what we most want. Developing a "rule for life" is a way of being intentional about the personal rhythms and guidelines that shape our days.
One of the early Christian rules for life is found in Acts 2:42. Here we find that believers "devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer." This rule shaped their lives and hearts in the circumstances they were in. It acknowledged the impossibility of becoming like Christ through effort alone. The rule offered disciplines that made space to attend to the supernatural presence of the Trinity at work in and among them.

A Rule for Life is a simple statement of the regular rhythms we choose in order to present our bodies to God as our "spiritual act of worship" (Romans 12:1). Each rule, or rhythm, is a way to partner with God for the transformation only he can bring. Rules keep our lives from devolving into unintended chaos. They aren’t a burdensome list of do’s and don’ts, enumerating everything you might do in a day. Life-giving rules are a brief and realistic scaffold of disciplines that support your heart’s desire to grow in loving God and others" (Adele Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook).

To develop your own Rule for Life. Start by answering these questions. From the answers begin to write your Rule for Life:

1. When and where do you feel closest to God? How do you experience God’s love for you?
a. Pay attention to experiences, practices and relationships that draw you toward God.
b. Are there particular practices that open you to God?

2. What is most important to you?
a. What gives you a sense of security and self-worth?
b. What would people who know you best say it’s like to live and work with you?
c. What/Who receives the most attention in your life? (Your job? spouse? Family? Friends? Hobby?)

3. What practices suit your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly rhythms and cycles? (prayer, Bible reading, silence, contemplative walks, retreats, etc)
a. What limitations are built into your life at this moment?
b. What longings remain steady throughout?
c. What responsibilities and rhythms change with various seasons?

4. Where do you want to change?
a. Where do you feel powerless to change?
b. What can you ask the Holy Spirit to help you do through grace what you cannot do through effort alone?

5. Which disciplines can you choose that arise from your desire for God’s transforming work and that suit the limits and realities of your life? Begin your practice.



*The above explanation and questions are found in Adele Calhoun's book, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook. Though "spiritual discipline" combined with the word "handbook" may seem a bit dry and boring, I've found this book to be a personal favorite. Calhoun's descriptions of various disciplines are clear and concise, not to mention very practical and applicable. This is a great resource for someone wanting to explore what it looks like to integrating spiritual disciplines into their daily rhythm of life.

Regarding a Rule for Life

Here's a few things to be mindful about when considering on a rule for life:

A rule of life is different for everybody. No two individuals will have exactly the same rule of life. We have a lot of latitude in a personal rule of life. A rule of life should be diverse, reflecting the needs and spiritual aspirations of the person.

We are have been called “heavenward in Christ Jesus.” As we said last week, spiritual growth is for all of us. God desires that each of us in engaged in the process of becoming transformed into the image of Christ.

We all have the same goal,
and though there will be many similarities,
each of our journey’s toward Christlikeness is unique.

Thomas à Kempis writes,
“All cannot use the same kind of spiritual exercises,
but one suits this person, and another that.
Different devotions are suited also to the seasons [of life]....”

A rule of life should take into account your personal circumstances at this point in your life. A personal rule of life can change with the seasons in your life.

Marjorie Thompson in her book, Soul Feast, says,

“Whatever your circumstances, it is always possible to include some form of spiritual discipline in your daily priorities.

If you want to become and remain physically healthily, you eat sensibly and exercise regularly. If you want to become spiritually healthily and remain replenished, you practice spiritual disciplines regularly.”

Be careful not to become legalistic about your rule of life. If it becomes a legalistic way of earning points with God, it should be scrapped.

"Our primary task is not to calculate how many verses of Scripture we read or how many minutes we spend in prayer. Our task is to use these activities to create opportunities for God to work. Then what happens is up to him. We just put up sails: "The wind blows where it chooses..." (Ortberg, 51-52)

John Ortberg in his book, “The Life You’ve Always Wanted,” says this about our attitude toward spiritual formation,

“But God’s primary assessment of our lives is not going to be measured by the number of journal entries…. The real issue is what kind of people we are becoming. Practices such as reading Scripture and praying are important – not because they prove how spiritual we are – but because God can use them to lead us into life.” (Ortberg, 39)

Barton suggests that, once we have developed a rhythm of spiritual practices, that we should have a great deal of flexibility. This is not a once and for all time decision. A rule of life needs to be realistic in light of the stage or season of our life. We should avoid being rigid and legalistic.

This is a rhythm not a law.

Remember, the Spiritual disciplines are a means to an end; they are not the end.

The definition of spiritual transformation is the process of being changed into the likeness of Christ for the sake of others . . . that is the end.

Don’t try to take on too much at once.

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To spend just 5 minutes clearing a path in your worst room. You know this area of your home: the place you would never allow anyone to see. Just 5 minutes a day for the next 27 days and you will have a place that you can be proud to take anyone!

5-Minute Soul Rescue: There's a principle we can learn from Fly Lady here as it relates to our spiritual growth. Many, often set out to do too much, too long, too fast, only to end up discouraged and disheartened. Small, practical, doable steps are the best first steps, regardless of the venture (engaging Scripture, prayer, serving, etc).

If the rule of life contains too much, albeit good stuff, it can soon turn into drudgery and we won’t follow it.

The question is: What can I realistically commit to? This is about honoring personal limitations. It is better to commit to a single practice and stick with it than to take on five and quit altogether because you cannot keep up.

Barton also suggests that an effective rhythm of spiritual practices will be balanced; a balance of disciplines that come easy to us and disciplines that stretch us.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your rule or rhythm. It can easily be changed and revised, but it shouldn’t be subject to whims. Give yourself time to settle into your rule of life so that it has time to shape your life.

“If you are weary of some sleepy form of devotion,
probably God is as weary of it as you are.”
~Frank Laubach

Resources and Further Reading:

Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual TransformationMarjorie J. Thompson, Soul Feast: An Invitation to the Christian Spiritual LifeJohn Ortberg, The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary PeopleDallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes LivesCelebration of Discipline: The Path of Spiritual Growth – Richard Foster

A Rule for Life

St. Benedict, in the 6th Century, initially constructed what is known as a Rule of Life (often also referred to as a Rule for Life).

The Latin term for “rule” is regula. From it we get our words regular and regulate. Very simply, a rule of life, is a pattern or rhythm of spiritual disciplines that provides structure and direction for growth in holiness.

A rule is not meant to be restrictive or legalistic. However, it does require a commitment. It is intended to help us establish a rhythm of living.

A rule of life gives us a way to enter the lifelong process of personal transformation.
The concept is called different things by various authors, but the core of it is essentially the same.

Ultimately, a rule will help you love God more.

St. Benedict simply called it a “Rule of Life.”
Ruth Haley Barton in her book Sacred Rhythms refers to it as a “rhythm of life.”
Dallas Willard, author of The Spirit of the Disciplines refers to it as “Curriculum in Christlikeness.”
John Ortberg in The Life You’ve Always Wanted calls it a “Game Plan for Morphing.”

Adele Calhoun, in Spiritual Disciplines Handbook writes,
“A rule for life is a simple statement of the regular rhythms we choose in order to present our bodies to God as our ‘spiritual acts of worship’ (Romans 12:1).”

Each rule, or rhythm, is a way we partner with God for the transformation only he can bring. Rules keep our lives from devolving into unintended chaos. (So we don’t cast off restraint) They are a brief and realistic enumerating everything you might do in a day. Life-giving rules are a brief and realistic scaffold of disciplines that support your heart’s desire to grow in loving God and others.”

Practically, draw square with four quadrants. Label the top left one Daily, top right one Weekly, bottom left one Monthly, and the bottom right oneYearly.

Ruth Haley Barton has suggested that a rule of life seeks to respond to two questions:

Who do I want to be?
How do I want to live?

Barton has combined the question to:

How do I want to live so that I can be who I want to be?

Boats, Rafts & Sailing in the Wind

Growth is a byproduct of grace, effort, and discernment.

One of the things that has been helpful to me in understanding the process of growth (spiritual formation) and the inter-workings of “grace,” “effort” and “discernment” is comparing the differences between a motorboat, a raft, and a sailboat.

Motorboat

In a motorboat I'm in charge. I determine how fast we're going to go, and in what direction. Some people approach spiritual life that way. If I'm just aggressive enough, if I have enough quiet times, I can make transformation happen on my own. Usually that results in people becoming legalistic, then pride starts to creep in, and things get all messed up.

Raft

Some people have been burned by that kind of approach. So they go to the opposite extreme and will say, "I'm into grace." It's like they're floating on a raft. If you ask them to do anything to further their growth, they'll say, "Hey, no. I'm not into works. I'm into grace. You're getting legalistic with me." So they drift. There are way too many commands in Scripture for anybody to think that we're called to be passive.

Sailboat

On a sailboat, however, I don't move if it's not for the wind. My only hope of movement is the wind. I can't control the wind. I don't manufacture the wind. Jesus talks about the Spirit blowing like the wind.

John 3:8
The wind blows wherever it pleases.
You hear its sound, but you cannot tell
where it comes from or where it is going.
So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.

Jesus talks about the Spirit blowing like the wind. But there is a role for me to play, and part of it has to do with what I need to discern.

A good sailor will discern, Where's the wind at work? How should I set the sails? Spiritual formation is like sailing.[1]

Wise sailors know that their main task is being able to "read" the wind - to practice discernment. An experienced sailor can simply look at a lake and tell where the wind is blowing strongest, or look at the sky and give a weather forecast. A wise sailor knows when to raise and lower which sails to catch the wind most effectively.[2]

Reflection:
Where is the Wind blowing in your life right now? How will you begin to orient yourself to catch-the-wind?

[1] John Ortberg, http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2004/winter/1.22.html

[2] John Ortberg, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, 51.

The Sin of Religiosity

"One of the books I've been working through lately is Thomas Merton's Faith and Violence: Christian Teaching and Christian Practice.

This, along with a few other current reads, are stretching my understanding of "justice," or more accurately the prevalence of "injustice" in our world today.

The following two excerpts from Merton are particularly thought-provoking and penetrating. Especially considering they were penned in the 1960's.

"In other words there is a great danger in facile and thoughtless verbalizations of spiritual reality. All true spiritual disciplines recognize the peril of idolatry in the irresponsible fabrication of pseudo-spiritual concepts which serve only to delude man and to subject him once again to a deeper captivity just when he seems on the point of tasting the true bliss and the perfect poverty of liberation." (114)

"The sin of religiosity is that it has turned God, peace, happiness, salvation and all that man desires into products to be marketed in a speciously attractive package deal. In this, I think, the fault lies not with the sincerity of preachers and religious writers, but with the worn-out presuppositions with which they are content to operate. The religious mind today is seldom pertinently or prophetically critical. Oh, it is critical all right; but too often of wrong or irrelevant issues. There is still such a thing as straining at gnats and swallowing camels. But I wonder if we have not settled down too comfortably to accept passively the prevarications that the Gospels or the Prophets would have us reject with all the strength of our being." (117)

Influencing Others When We Least Expect It

For the next week, it's just me and Micah home at the ranch. Charissa and the girls ventured north early yesterday monring. It's amazing how excited Micah is to simply spend the next nine days with just me. I'm looking forward as well to being with him and hopefully experiencing some long-lasting memories.

All this got me to reflecting on the impact we have on our children and other's in general. What's daunting is that often the greatest influence we have on others happens when we're unaware its happening - when we least expect it.

The following videos vividly portray this reality.

Free Book :: The Sacredness of Questioning Everything

We each have areas that we "don't know" about and often perhaps, don't "want to know about." Such knowledge and insight is only the byproduct of a series of questions. Questions that cause us to think and re-think why we do what we do, how we do what we do, and so forth. It is so easy to follow the flow of the alternative, which is simply letting life happen to us, all the while, questioning nothing.

All of us, whether as a corporation, a business, a church, a family or simply our own individuals lives can benefit from beginning to throw some raw questions at who we are, what we do and why we do what we do...

David Dark, in his book "The Sacredness of Questioning Everything" begins to explore what it looks like to peel back the exterior layers and question what's beneath.

For a limited time you can download a Free Audiobook edition of this book

You can read a concise, yet full book review by Joshua Neds-Fox here.

Table of Contents
1. Never What You Have In Mind--Questioning God
2. The Unbearable Lightness of Being Brainwashed--Questioning Religion
3. Everybody to the Limit--Questioning Our Offendedness
4. Spot the Pervert--Questioning our Passions
5. The Power of the Put-On--Questioning Media
6. The Word, The Line, The Way--Questioning Our Language
7. Survival of the Freshest--Questioning Interpretations
8. The Past Didn't Go Anywhere--Questioning History
9. We Do What We're Told--Questioning Governments
10. Sincerity As Far As The Eye Can See--Questioning the Future
End Note: That Means To Signal a World Without End